Oh god. Oh GOD. I signed up. I committed. I should BE committed.
So it's Day Two and I've got 30 words. That's right! Only 49,970 words to go!! So what am I doing? Typing away, letting the story find itself and evolve into something mystical outside myself? No.
I am on my blog, wasting time and eating leftover Halloween candy. Great.
Yesterday my excuse was we had a high-tech ban on Sunday's. Neither Kurt nor I spend time on our laptops at all, so it was a perfect day to NOT start my book. Today, I justified my lack of progress by the need to get Anna's birthday things together and finish up the grocery shopping while the kids are in preschool. Now it is 10:30 in the morning, with 2 hours to go before I pick them up and I am trying SO HARD to think of other things to do! The kitchen is a mess. There is always laundry. I'm overdue for my home manicure hour.
And look! Halloween candy! Can't leave that lying around.
Ok, enough random bloggy babble. I am now (oops, had a Freudian typo there, I wrote "not" first) going to go and write the Great American First Draft of Ick. Wish me luck. I promise, I will never-ever-ever make you read it! Cheers!
November 02, 2009
October 15, 2009
Who's behind you?
This picture from a friend's wedding (courtesy, once again, of Trystan Photography) is just about my favorite picture ever of Kurt and me. Firstly, I'm actually dressed up and holding a gin and tonic, always a good memory to capture. Next, Kurt looks happy and silly and adorable, caught in a moment of relaxation not often seen lately. And finally, I love that guy behind us, just strolling along, doing his own thing. He's totally unaware he's just been captured for all eternity behind a blissfully happy couple. It makes me wonder how I must fit into the background of other people's lives, too, how many vacation pictures have me wiping my kids noses or calling out to my husband behind someone's carefully posed family shots.
There are bits and pieces of other people's lives and memories tucked all over our own. I like that.
October 12, 2009
She shoots... she scores! Woohoo!
I did it, I did it, I really did it. Go, me! I finished my whole week from the CE menu challenge even though at first it seemed complicated and impossible and besides, I almost never finish anything. But I did it.
Funny thing is, by Sunday, it was easy. I didn't even look too much at the printout on the fridge because I had the hang of it all. Plan ahead every few days. Eat every 3-4 hours. Drink 2 cups of water with most meals. Stick to fresher, less processed or sugary ingredients and snacks. Look for a general balance of proteins, fats and fiber. Pay attention to your portions just by noticing how full you actually are. Try something new.
Heck, I even learned to love my coffee with half the sugar and milk I used to mix in, go figure on that one. (I'm still not okay with plain egg whites, though, but I am okay with not being okay with them. Does that make sense?)
Over all it was a good week. I feel renewed and motivated. The best part, or maybe not the best but the biggest reminder, was lasagne night last night. Kurt's dad had us over for a big, rich lasagne dinner followed by chocolate cake. We had wine and bruschetta for appetizers. It was a lot of food and I was excited. I felt like I deserved to indulge, like I'd earned it.
After the first glass of white wine, I started to get a headache. After the bruschetta, I was totally full. After the first few bites of lasagne (which was really delicious in the moment) I felt like I would burst. By the time the cake came around my stomach was bubbling unpleasantly, even after 2 glasses of crisp water.
I still ate the cake, though. Of course I did! In fact, that was the best part of the whole night, to the point that I nearly embarrassed myself. When the first bite of cake and frosting hit my tongue, a huge shiver of pure pleasure shot through me. Quite involuntarily, my eyes shut and I kind of... well... moaned.
Kurt choked on his wine and nearly died trying not to laugh hysterically. He later told me that he'd seen that expression on my face before, but only when we were alone. That's right, y'all. Chocolate orgasm! Ahhh...
Even with that finale, by the time we got home I felt sick, really sick. My headache turned into a raging migraine as I lay in bed, fighting the urge to go throw up. I finally downed two Tylenol PM just to knock me out and make the pain stop.
This morning, after a couple glasses of water, a hearty CE breakfast and a nice cup of coffee, I feel much better. But I've taken the lesson to heart. Even though the dinner last night was exquisite, my body has learned to thrive on and expect moderation, even after just a week.
So I'm sticking with the plan, adjusting it to make it my own. I liked feeling good and not hungry, I liked trying new things. I especially liked that one bite of chocolate, after abstaining from sweets for awhile, was practically X-rated. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, right? Later this week... Pumpkin Spice Latte. (May not be appropriate for younger audiences!!)
But I'm sticking to a small with skim milk. Don't want to go overboard and end up in full overdose barf mode again. So that's my Clean Eating Week wrap-up. I'm sure it's been a thrill ride for you, my dear readers (all 7 of you). I certainly learned a lot.
Coming up next... NaNoWriMo? How many challenges do you think I can finish this year?
Funny thing is, by Sunday, it was easy. I didn't even look too much at the printout on the fridge because I had the hang of it all. Plan ahead every few days. Eat every 3-4 hours. Drink 2 cups of water with most meals. Stick to fresher, less processed or sugary ingredients and snacks. Look for a general balance of proteins, fats and fiber. Pay attention to your portions just by noticing how full you actually are. Try something new.
Heck, I even learned to love my coffee with half the sugar and milk I used to mix in, go figure on that one. (I'm still not okay with plain egg whites, though, but I am okay with not being okay with them. Does that make sense?)
Over all it was a good week. I feel renewed and motivated. The best part, or maybe not the best but the biggest reminder, was lasagne night last night. Kurt's dad had us over for a big, rich lasagne dinner followed by chocolate cake. We had wine and bruschetta for appetizers. It was a lot of food and I was excited. I felt like I deserved to indulge, like I'd earned it.
After the first glass of white wine, I started to get a headache. After the bruschetta, I was totally full. After the first few bites of lasagne (which was really delicious in the moment) I felt like I would burst. By the time the cake came around my stomach was bubbling unpleasantly, even after 2 glasses of crisp water.
I still ate the cake, though. Of course I did! In fact, that was the best part of the whole night, to the point that I nearly embarrassed myself. When the first bite of cake and frosting hit my tongue, a huge shiver of pure pleasure shot through me. Quite involuntarily, my eyes shut and I kind of... well... moaned.
Kurt choked on his wine and nearly died trying not to laugh hysterically. He later told me that he'd seen that expression on my face before, but only when we were alone. That's right, y'all. Chocolate orgasm! Ahhh...
Even with that finale, by the time we got home I felt sick, really sick. My headache turned into a raging migraine as I lay in bed, fighting the urge to go throw up. I finally downed two Tylenol PM just to knock me out and make the pain stop.
This morning, after a couple glasses of water, a hearty CE breakfast and a nice cup of coffee, I feel much better. But I've taken the lesson to heart. Even though the dinner last night was exquisite, my body has learned to thrive on and expect moderation, even after just a week.
So I'm sticking with the plan, adjusting it to make it my own. I liked feeling good and not hungry, I liked trying new things. I especially liked that one bite of chocolate, after abstaining from sweets for awhile, was practically X-rated. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, right? Later this week... Pumpkin Spice Latte. (May not be appropriate for younger audiences!!)
But I'm sticking to a small with skim milk. Don't want to go overboard and end up in full overdose barf mode again. So that's my Clean Eating Week wrap-up. I'm sure it's been a thrill ride for you, my dear readers (all 7 of you). I certainly learned a lot.
Coming up next... NaNoWriMo? How many challenges do you think I can finish this year?
October 10, 2009
Home stretch, Day 5
It's cold today, icy stinging cold with freezing rain and black ice on the road and that feeling like your fingers and toes will never warm up. I've had my hands wrapped around hot mugs of tea, coffee and, yes, hot chocolate all morning and I'm still worried about frost-bite. I have friends with their furnaces broken right now and seriously, I don't know how they're functioning. It's COLD.
Yesterday was chilly, too, but without all the ice. By now, I feel totally comfortable with the whole CE thing; I know when to eat, what kind of foods to look for, what's a good portion, etc. So, after cabin fever with the kids all day kicked in, we headed out to the mall so they could run around in the play place for a bit and burn off their mania. Kurt met us there later and we headed up to the food court for dinner.
Uh-oh. Food courts aren't notorious for clean eating, so I felt a little trepidation at first. But I know my stuff now, y'all! I can make good decisions! I had a grilled chicken salad with vinaigrette, and saved my whole grain allotment for after we got home, with another yummy slice of Great Harvest bread. I love that stuff. I have no patience for making my own bread, but reaping someone else's rewards fills me with warm fuzzies.
So. Here I am, one day away from the challenge, marinating on what I've gotten out of it, what I want to take forward, what's not going to fit for me. And you know what? I think, surprisingly, a lot of it does fit. Except the egg whites, don't I keep coming back to that? Can't handle plain egg whites. I made scrambled eggs this morning and added in one whole egg, which made a big difference. I'm not sure why the yolk isn't considered "clean" except maybe for the saturated fat, but whatever. A yolk here and there does not make the world stop turning. I need my yolks, people. It's a sacrifice I just have to make.
That's pretty much it, not fascinating at all. There's only so much you can say about healthy food, right? The control freak in me adores the schedule posted on the fridge and my stubborn side is determined to see this through and be a better person for it, dammit. At this point, though, we're all bored of hearing me say, "Yum, feel healthy, things are good, wheeee!". "Lemme esplain... no, wait... lemme sum up." (Princess Bride, cliff top duel, I love Inigo Montoya!)
Tomorrow-- lasagne. Monday... still good things, I think. The best part is, I will not be torturing my devoted readers with every bite that passes my lips! Thanks for putting up with the challenge, which I am pretty sure was a challenge in and of itself.
Now, go forth and eat almonds!
Day 5:
Breakfast was my good ol' cereal combo with peanut butter toast and a banana. Polished off the hummus for a snack in the morning and fell back on my almonds and pear for the afternoon. The suggested lunch was a strawberry spinach salad with poppy seed dressing, which was good, but not at all filling, so I added in walnuts and a slice of Ezekiel toast on the side. Much better. Dinner, like I said, was a chick-fil-a grilled chicken salad. I didn't even steal any of Silvia's fries, go me! Then cranberry almond bread for dessert. Sprinkle the day with tea and rain on it with water and you've got the whole shebang!
Yesterday was chilly, too, but without all the ice. By now, I feel totally comfortable with the whole CE thing; I know when to eat, what kind of foods to look for, what's a good portion, etc. So, after cabin fever with the kids all day kicked in, we headed out to the mall so they could run around in the play place for a bit and burn off their mania. Kurt met us there later and we headed up to the food court for dinner.
Uh-oh. Food courts aren't notorious for clean eating, so I felt a little trepidation at first. But I know my stuff now, y'all! I can make good decisions! I had a grilled chicken salad with vinaigrette, and saved my whole grain allotment for after we got home, with another yummy slice of Great Harvest bread. I love that stuff. I have no patience for making my own bread, but reaping someone else's rewards fills me with warm fuzzies.
So. Here I am, one day away from the challenge, marinating on what I've gotten out of it, what I want to take forward, what's not going to fit for me. And you know what? I think, surprisingly, a lot of it does fit. Except the egg whites, don't I keep coming back to that? Can't handle plain egg whites. I made scrambled eggs this morning and added in one whole egg, which made a big difference. I'm not sure why the yolk isn't considered "clean" except maybe for the saturated fat, but whatever. A yolk here and there does not make the world stop turning. I need my yolks, people. It's a sacrifice I just have to make.
That's pretty much it, not fascinating at all. There's only so much you can say about healthy food, right? The control freak in me adores the schedule posted on the fridge and my stubborn side is determined to see this through and be a better person for it, dammit. At this point, though, we're all bored of hearing me say, "Yum, feel healthy, things are good, wheeee!". "Lemme esplain... no, wait... lemme sum up." (Princess Bride, cliff top duel, I love Inigo Montoya!)
Tomorrow-- lasagne. Monday... still good things, I think. The best part is, I will not be torturing my devoted readers with every bite that passes my lips! Thanks for putting up with the challenge, which I am pretty sure was a challenge in and of itself.
Now, go forth and eat almonds!
Day 5:
Breakfast was my good ol' cereal combo with peanut butter toast and a banana. Polished off the hummus for a snack in the morning and fell back on my almonds and pear for the afternoon. The suggested lunch was a strawberry spinach salad with poppy seed dressing, which was good, but not at all filling, so I added in walnuts and a slice of Ezekiel toast on the side. Much better. Dinner, like I said, was a chick-fil-a grilled chicken salad. I didn't even steal any of Silvia's fries, go me! Then cranberry almond bread for dessert. Sprinkle the day with tea and rain on it with water and you've got the whole shebang!
October 09, 2009
Day 4 and dirty dishes
My dishwasher is still broken. Kaput. A glorified dish rack. Grrr... It won't be fixed until next Tuesday. For those of you keeping count that's eight days from when it broke. "Fast and reliable service", my ass. Not that I'm bitter or anything.
The lack of dishes (since I am procrastinating the washing up more and more with each passing hour) has certainly begun to play a role in my adherence to the exact CE menu. I've switched around breakfasts and snacks that are less cooking intensive, like cereal instead of scrambled eggs with veggies or oatmeal (it sticks like glue to the bowls). I know, lazy, but I just HATE washing dishes and the pile already looming is bad enough as it is.
The dinners, however, I love even with all the clean-up. Last night we had Adobo-Rubbed Pork Tenderloin with Pico de Gallo and it was soooo gooood. Even though I thought I knew better, I've been surprised at how tasty most of the recipes this week has been. I guess I had an underlying belief that "healthy" and "clean" meant blah. Instead I find it tastes better than even my perfected go-to dinners. The focus is on flavor, lots of fresh additions and spice combinations that bring out the best in the food. In CE magazine there are hundreds of recipes that I'm excited to dig into, now.
I'm reminded now of what I already knew but had forgotten. My body thrives on a healthy balance. I'm less tired, sleeping better, feeling more focused and patient (not the Dalai Lama by any stretch, but better than my usual temper). As this week goes on I realize now it's not as hard as it seemed on Monday, that there's a lot more flexibility than I saw before and that it's not even TOO much more expensive than the more ready-to-eat foods I usually rely on.
Except for the supplements, that is, which I have a hard time justifying. I take a discount adult gummy vitamin everyday and that's about the limits of my efforts. I balk at buying the pricey almond butter, much less bee pollen. My excuse for not diving into that aisle at the store is that, with all the fresh food I'm eating, I don't really need anything extra.
One other thing... I miss Starbucks. I do. I think I've mentioned it every day this week. I know all the sweet stuff is not good for you, but it's good for my SPIRIT, you know? Next week I plan to indulge. The difference I hope to hold on to is it's an indulgence, not a daily necessity (Kurt will like that, too, since he disapproves of Starbucks on a moral level).
Day 4 in review:
Started the day with whole grain cereal sprinkled with flaxseed, milk, fresh berries and a slice of toast and peanut butter. This is my favorite breakfast. Since morning is not my most cognizant time, having this in place is great. Fills me up, it's easy to prepare and tastes good. Plus, yay, no egg whites.
Lunch was a salmon salad with celery, green onion and bell peppers. I tossed in some spinach to give it a more salad-y feel and added a little balsamic vinegar and olive oil. I also had a side of cottage cheese, which I haven't decided if I still like or not. Skipped the crackers, just felt too full.
I only had one snack, a pear and almonds, which is also my favorite go-to snack. Add a cup of tea and it's perfect. Isn't it funny how everything seems SO filling and satisfying? I can't remember the last time I ate so much every day but didn't put on 15 pounds.
Dinner was the pork tenderloin, delicious and for once I didn't over cook it! I am notorious for hockey puck pork, Kurt just about had a heart attack from shock. I went off-menu for dessert and had a slice of cranberry almond bread from Great Harvest, but I only had one piece and it's an all-fresh ingredients bakery so it's fine.
Still struggling to drink enough water. Why is that so hard? If I had to eat cookies every two hours I'm sure I'd fit it in somehow, so why do I forget taking a drink? (OK, that's a bad comparison as water has no chocolate chips, but you see my point...)
I'm off to wash seven hundred and forty-two dishes. Good times!
The lack of dishes (since I am procrastinating the washing up more and more with each passing hour) has certainly begun to play a role in my adherence to the exact CE menu. I've switched around breakfasts and snacks that are less cooking intensive, like cereal instead of scrambled eggs with veggies or oatmeal (it sticks like glue to the bowls). I know, lazy, but I just HATE washing dishes and the pile already looming is bad enough as it is.
The dinners, however, I love even with all the clean-up. Last night we had Adobo-Rubbed Pork Tenderloin with Pico de Gallo and it was soooo gooood. Even though I thought I knew better, I've been surprised at how tasty most of the recipes this week has been. I guess I had an underlying belief that "healthy" and "clean" meant blah. Instead I find it tastes better than even my perfected go-to dinners. The focus is on flavor, lots of fresh additions and spice combinations that bring out the best in the food. In CE magazine there are hundreds of recipes that I'm excited to dig into, now.
I'm reminded now of what I already knew but had forgotten. My body thrives on a healthy balance. I'm less tired, sleeping better, feeling more focused and patient (not the Dalai Lama by any stretch, but better than my usual temper). As this week goes on I realize now it's not as hard as it seemed on Monday, that there's a lot more flexibility than I saw before and that it's not even TOO much more expensive than the more ready-to-eat foods I usually rely on.
Except for the supplements, that is, which I have a hard time justifying. I take a discount adult gummy vitamin everyday and that's about the limits of my efforts. I balk at buying the pricey almond butter, much less bee pollen. My excuse for not diving into that aisle at the store is that, with all the fresh food I'm eating, I don't really need anything extra.
One other thing... I miss Starbucks. I do. I think I've mentioned it every day this week. I know all the sweet stuff is not good for you, but it's good for my SPIRIT, you know? Next week I plan to indulge. The difference I hope to hold on to is it's an indulgence, not a daily necessity (Kurt will like that, too, since he disapproves of Starbucks on a moral level).
Day 4 in review:
Started the day with whole grain cereal sprinkled with flaxseed, milk, fresh berries and a slice of toast and peanut butter. This is my favorite breakfast. Since morning is not my most cognizant time, having this in place is great. Fills me up, it's easy to prepare and tastes good. Plus, yay, no egg whites.
Lunch was a salmon salad with celery, green onion and bell peppers. I tossed in some spinach to give it a more salad-y feel and added a little balsamic vinegar and olive oil. I also had a side of cottage cheese, which I haven't decided if I still like or not. Skipped the crackers, just felt too full.
I only had one snack, a pear and almonds, which is also my favorite go-to snack. Add a cup of tea and it's perfect. Isn't it funny how everything seems SO filling and satisfying? I can't remember the last time I ate so much every day but didn't put on 15 pounds.
Dinner was the pork tenderloin, delicious and for once I didn't over cook it! I am notorious for hockey puck pork, Kurt just about had a heart attack from shock. I went off-menu for dessert and had a slice of cranberry almond bread from Great Harvest, but I only had one piece and it's an all-fresh ingredients bakery so it's fine.
Still struggling to drink enough water. Why is that so hard? If I had to eat cookies every two hours I'm sure I'd fit it in somehow, so why do I forget taking a drink? (OK, that's a bad comparison as water has no chocolate chips, but you see my point...)
I'm off to wash seven hundred and forty-two dishes. Good times!
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