March 02, 2007

value

"Come, be around friends who don't care if you are tired and irritable and have spit up on your clothes..."

My friend Maida said this to me today, pretty much encompassing everything I needed to hear in every possible way right now.

Because I am tired, and I am irritable and there is definitely spit up all over my clothes. I'm feeling overwhelmed by my new life as the mommy of two little girls; overwhelmed with love, responsibility, chores, frustration, exhaustion and the feeling that I'm letting all my other relationships fall by the wayside. I worry that my husband feels neglected or taken for granted, that my friends think I'm ignoring them or that I don't care about their lives right now, that I haven't sent out thank you notes for all the meals and gifts and hugs and well-wishes we've recieved since Silvia was born.

Even more, I'm worried that this new, tired, smelly Megan with the droopy hair, the circles under her eyes, the squishy waistline, the short temper and easy tears isn't someone that could possibly be of value to anyone else.

And yet, this is what I hear and feel coming, unprompted, from every direction. "Come, be around friends who don't care if you are tired and irritable and have spit up on your clothes...". I have these amazing friends who are steady and true and honest and kind, who don't waver in my life or their own. They call me out when I most need it, and especially when I don't know it.

That's what I call a blessing. Even at my worst, even smelly (I'm a little hung up on the smelly part, can you tell?), I am loved. WOW.

1 comment:

Maida said...

Because I would rather have tired, irritable, spit up Megan than no Megan at all! I *do* love you, and I just happen to know how overwhelming it can be to be a mother of two in diapers.

Smooches!