Why can't men listen? I mean, come on! Women, in general, are very clear and concise and up front about our needs and desires. Women are the natural communicators of the species. I just don't get why guys have to tune out half of the information and then go into full offended-dignity-mode when we point out that they completely missed EVERYTHING.
Here's an example. Sunday afternoon, a miracle happened. Anna went down for her nap and then suddenly, Silvia decided she was tired, too! They went to sleep AT THE SAME TIME. It was amazing. I came out of the nursery and stood for a minute, reveling in the total quiet that was cradling the house.
The plan of action for the afternoon was clear; both kids were sleeping and Kurt and I were alone in the house! It was nooner time!
I went downstairs to the kitchen, smiled, and gave my hubbie The Look.
"I'm going to head to the grocery store while the girls are asleep, is there anything you need?"
OHMYGOD. What was WRONG with this guy?! I sent him The Look again, and since he was being extra oblivious, I also went over and gave him the Extra Tight Hug.
"Ooooof! Careful, sweetie, my back's sore today."
At this point, I started to get mad. I hate it when he just totally shoots me down like that. He needed to apologize to me, which of course he would when he saw how much he had hurt my feelings. I headed over to the couch and plopped down in a Major Pout, waiting for his mea culpa.
He was in the kitchen, still making his stupid grocery list! I was sitting on the couch in the other room, clearly very upset at his cruel rebuke of my sexual advance, and he was just ignoring it! By this point I was totally furious.
"Okay, sweetheart, I'll be back in a little bit..." He looked at my face more closely. "Ummm... is everything okay?"
"Oh, okay. You're sure?" He was standing there like everything was okay! What was wrong with this guy?
"Yes. I'm FINE."
"Okay, I'll be back in a bit." And then he had the nerve to kiss me good-bye.
So, I sat and fumed while he was gone, going over the whole encounter in my head. We had an obvious opportunity for some quality time, I flirted and propositioned him, he turned me down, and then refused to apologize when I made it clear I was very upset.
When he came back with the groceries, I was Not Talking To Him.
"Why are you so quiet?"
"I got salmon for dinner, I'm going to grill it on cedar planks."
I rolled my eyes and stomped off to the refrigerator.
Fine. Since he was going to play all obtuse, I guess I was going to have to bring it up. It's not good to let these things fester. How come I always end up doing all the WORK in our relationship? Doesn't he understand that it takes effort and maintenance?
You know," I said, "It's just possible that I'm feeling a little under-appreciated right now. It's just possible that I need some attention."
He stared at me, eyes big and round. "What?"
Twirling around, I bit off the words. "I can't believe you decided to go to the grocery store instead of having a nooner with me! You just turned me down flat!"
Kurt glanced frantically around the room, like he was looking for something; probably a fast exit. "What? When? How did I miss that?"
"Well, it's too late now, Anna's waking up. You never listen to me."
A heartbeat of total silence.
Then, with a deep sigh, he said, "Oh, boy." He got up, gave me a hug, said something about getting together after the girls go to bed, and started to put away the groceries.
And that's how it goes, all the time. I just don't understand how he missed all of that. It's so obvious what I was saying, but somehow he just tunes out half the information.
Honestly, what do I have to do? Spell it out for him every time?