November 09, 2007

Learning Curve

I took Driver's Ed when I was 17. Aside from the gruesome, scare-you-into-driving-safe pictures, the one thing that stands out in my mind is how incredibly sore my arms were after that first week of driving, holding on to the steering wheel at the 10 and 2 positions. I remember the instructor teasing me about my spaghetti arms and saying that he could never understand why all his students were always trying to drive with their arms resting in their laps.

But I remember how sore I was; my triceps just ached for about a week from consciously supporting my arms to hold the wheel.

It seems silly, now. I mean, come on, how hard is it to hold the wheel? It seems ridiculous that something so simple was so hard for me, at first.

I keep hoping that this mommy and marriage thing will be like that, too, someday. That I'll look back at the rough spots and laugh at how hard it was for me at first, but how now I can't even fathom the difficulty. I keep hoping that eventually the learning, beginner part will be over and I'll get into the experienced and wise part.

I'm actually pretty positive that won't happen until possibly my deathbed, maybe. There's always going to be something that's one step ahead of me and I'll just have to keep adjusting, reacting and working to catch up. My muscles will always be a little bit sore from holding myself up and steady every day, there's just no getting around it. But I still hope, nonetheless.

Inexperienced and unwise beginners are pretty naive that way.

1 comment:

mem said...

From the depths of my age and wisdom let me share with you the secret of sane motherhood - peppermint ice cream and egg nog lattes.