This whole double-blog thing has me all turned about, practically paralyzed in a confusion of words. Here's the problem. On this here site, I usually write about my life, terribly fascinating inner workings and attempts at problem-solving. Or at least problem-identifying. On the MA! site, my directive is to write about life, parenting and the intricate blending of personality and parenthood.
What I am finding, what is freezing me up, is that I can't clearly delineate my role as a mother from my role as a person. It's all one and the same. My internal workings, struggles and even humor seem to revolve more and more around trying to identify what's me and what's mommy. It's a troubling thought. The truth that I don't really know who I am aside from a parent leads to a lot of fumbling about in the dark. Mostly because, I won't always be the mom of preschoolers. Soon enough, they will both be in school most of the day and then what? I can't exactly sit about all day, catching up on Grey's Anatomy and planning what's for dinner. Well, I could, but that doesn't really sound like a fulfilling or useful life.
What I write is, for the most part, what I do and what I am. It's not always pretty or noble, but I try to be honest. Distinguishing parts of myself for two different arenas just seems practically impossible. A conundrum, to be sure.
Perhaps I should just set up a system? Monday's at MA! and Thursday's here? Completely NOT exclusive, just randomly offered up according to the play of the day? Not that I have huge followings anywhere, a point to consider. That'll take the pressure off for sure... I bet my three people could manage to read both sites with little trouble, if they so desire. You know who you are- think managing two feeds is expecting a little more interest than is deserved?
Oooh, I know. I could just develop a completely NEW personality for the MA! site. Be a new woman, start from scratch. Maybe be a travelling adventurer. The next post could be all about my recent climb up Mount Everest. With the girls strapped on my back, of course. It's important to share these experiences with their growing intellects. Or a race car driver- though since I'm timid to change lanes in congested traffic, that'd probably be hard to invoke.
Ugh. I know this is all fascinating. Have to write in order to be able to write, can't promise any level of quality or charm along the way. Perhaps next time, somewhere, I'll find something more alluring to say. Stay... posted?