May 04, 2009

sad conclusion

I love my sleep, especially my mornings. The slow waking up, dreamily turning to cuddle with Kurt, waiting for my eyes to open all of their own volition- it's lovely. I'm just not a hustle-and-bustle morning person.

But I also just don't have extra time to do what I need to do. When the girls are at school, I end up running around rotating laundry, cleaning the kitchen, buying groceries with kid-free luxury. With leftover time, I work out and then, with the last chunk I can scrounge, I work. But that's not enough time when it comes to writing. I am discovering more and more, there's more to writing than just sitting down and sorting through words. There is, sigh, organization. Filing, tracking submissions, follow-up, phone calls, research and, let's not forget, screen-staring in absolute frustration.

I squeeze in a few hours on the weekends, I pull in a few hours at night during the week, but I need MORE TIME. And so, I have reached a sad, sad conclusion. I must bid my slow sleepy mornings adieu.

It's not like I get to laze about in the A.M. as it is. Anna invades our room with giggles and squirms between 6:45 and 7 and we're all up by 7:15, usually with quick morning ablutions already behind us. Then I get the girls up and decent (or generally tidy-ish) while Kurt gets breakfast, we enjoy a coffee and cereal, brush teeth and, poof!, everyone's out the door. Tuesday and Thursday are easier, since the girls and I don't have to poof until about 9, but it's still not what I'd call sleeping in.

But I still need time, an extra hour or so that I don't have to steal from an otherwise full, though not jam-packed, day. So, starting this week, my alarm will be set for 6 A.M. Or, more precisely, ten 'til 6 so that I have a few bleary moments to pry open my eyes, kiss my blissfully sleeping husband and stumble into workout clothes. I know eventually, in theory, it'll become easier to wake up ahead of the crew, but for the moment... damn, I'm so not thrilled.

I need that hour. I can get up before I take the girls to school and get exercise out of the way which will leave a free spot in the morning to stare at my screen in frustration. On non-school days, I can write and file and research (and don't forget the frustrated staring) in peace and quiet before the playroom explodes at precisely 7:45 A.M.

If I could just settle for staying a housewife and stay-at-home mom for the time being, I'd be able to "sleep in" (on a side note, there was a time in my life when sleeping in meant waking up at nearly noon, but that is gone and dust). I have to say, with all honesty, that this decision to get up only an hour earlier has called all this "freelance writer" nonsense into serious doubt.

But onward and upward, right? Let's hope this is a sacrifice I can stick to, or otherwise it's going to take me a LOT longer to find my sea legs in this business. My comfort and support is many-fold, though. I have a new desk, a husband who is thrilled for me, I blossoming belief in my own ability, a treadmill in the basement and something else which, at the present, is more important than all of those combined.

A fabulous, magical and nearly instant coffee machine. Keurig, I heart you.

5 comments:

Maida said...

Yeah, we have to get the extra hours somehow. Mine is at the other end of the day - or rather, into the wee hours of the night...

Lisa said...

I have a meeting with the other side of the world at 5AM. This helps add more hours to the work day... for good or for ill.

I don't recommend scheduling a meeting with the other side of the world at 5AM, but I do find I get a LOT done in those early hours, before life and the rest of the office wakes up.

Alison said...

I have the same struggle. Mine has concluded (temporarily) with me showering at night. I don't prefer it but it is what it is. I have thought many times about getting up early but at my house the noise would probably mean we were all getting up earlier and that's the opposite of what I need. I commend your effort!

Lea said...

Whoa, this is just crazy talk! Okay, to put this in context, I am totally exhausted because Eric was on call this weekend, and sleep was bad, and Asher has been getting up at 5:30!! But seriously, once I have sleep, I will commend your efforts.

Kristen R Murphy said...

Hey, Megan! As your fellow classmate from WPSS, I feel the need to add some encouragement. I totally relate on finding the time to write. I am not a morning person, but know that getting up earlier in the day is what I need. Though, here I am at 11:13 in the p.m. on the computer reading blog posts. So, let's get crackin! Oh, and I have a Keurig, too. I love that little machine. Good luck with your writing!