February 11, 2010

Bully Update

I took Anna to school this morning, full of trepidation for the necessary discussion with her teacher and the school administrator. I even got up and put on REAL CLOTHES (as opposed to just wearing the sweat pants I sort of actually slept in) and mascara. Mascara makes me look more awake, or that's what I tell myself.

Anna, of course, is oblivious to the issues at hand. I've talked to her all week about how to handle the Obnoxious Boy as well as about trying to stay around her friends that are nice. We listed off names of people she likes to play with and practiced loudly saying, "NO, DON'T DO THAT!" and then walking to the teacher.

Except Anna only likes to yell at her sister. Every time we'd practice, she'd peacefully say, "Please stop doing that," and then smile at me. Sigh... she's a sweetie, but it could totally backfire on her.

Anywho, I got to the school, kissed Anna off into her class and went into the hall to talk with her teacher. Guess what? She was WAY more nervous than me. (By the way, as to why I was nervous-- I just don't do confrontation well. Gee, I wonder where Anna learned that?) She stood with her arms wrapped around her chest and just look... unhappy.

Not because she'd been caught or was mad at me, but just because the situation puts her in a difficult position. I totally get that. And I totally understand that she can't watch every kid, all the time, or catch every misbehavior. I mean, I've only got two at home and I miss at least half (probably more) of the sibling rowdiness that's going on.

So I assured her that I understood her position entirely and just told her my two main concerns. 1) That Anna didn't tell anyone what was going on and 2) that she's starting to just act like it's part of her day to get pushed around (AND SPIT ON, YUCK!). I told her what I've been working on with Anna at home so that we'd be on the same page and then asked what exactly they'd be able to do at school to prevent any further bullying.

She said they'd talked to the boy's mom (who's also a teacher there) and that they're trying to figure out a disciplinary technique with him that's effective, though so far nothing much seems to get through. It was SO obvious that Anna's teacher was feeling helpless with this little boy. It's not like she can take him out behind the woodshed-- but I think maybe sometimes she would really like to.

I get that, too.

Where we stand right now, I think we're all on the same page helping Anna stand up for herself and identify what's ok with other kids and what's totally NOT acceptable. Her teacher is on the alert, the boy's mom has received a warning and we're all hoping things improve from here. If she comes home with another wad of gross in hair, I'll have to think about what to do from there, but for the moment I think we're all handling the situation within our means.

Oh, and Anna told me that Obnoxious Boy has been telling her a lot that he's going to marry her.

And so it begins.

1 comment:

Alison said...

Well done, I would totally have been nervous for that conversation too!