May 22, 2010

"Nuke the site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure."

I have a belly bump.

Yes, I realize this is neither surprising (at 7 months pregnant) or news. I'm only really commenting on it because on top of my belly bump I HAVE A BELLY BUMP. It's a head. A disturbingly big head, from my perspective.

This kiddo is resting comfortably sideways across my middle, the very definition of a spare tire. Talk about a muffin top, whoo! And until he or she decides to move down into the more traditional pose, its head looks like, well... a big, round head. Growing out of the right side of my belly button.

The best part is when Mini-Schwartz stretches. Then the whole landscape changes and suddenly I've got that Sigourney Weaver* effect when the alien starts to press its way out of her abdomen, everything bulging in a creepy, squirming bullet shape. It's kind of a relief when it all settles back down into the nice normal bizarre lumpiness of the day-to-day.

Sort of makes dinner time less appetizing, for sure. But so far nothing has actually broken through and latched onto my face, so that's a bonus.*

*if you don't get all the Alien Trilogy references, get thee to Netflix, pronto. It's the only way to be sure.

1 comment:

Alison said...

I had nightmares about April ripping her way out the front of my belly - Twilight style. I totally understand!