June 01, 2010

The real salon experience

Dear 20-something single hair stylist boy,

Hi! After our session today, I just wanted to offer up a few suggestions. I hope these ideas will help you in your future client relations.

1) Do not complain, in detail, about how "destroyed" you are from having to drag your ass out of bed at 9 A.M. Trust me on this one-- all you are doing is making enemies. Enemies who have been up since 5 A.M., at least, and whose caffeine fixes are starting to wear off.

2) Just because you have a friend who has a child with whom you sometimes play does not qualify you to dole out parenting advice. Spending an hour or two on the weekend in the same house with a kid, while drinking on the side, does not make you "nearly a dad". Thank God.

3) Same thing goes for having a dog.

4) Yes, I am a stay at home mom. No, this does not mean I get my hair done all the time (as evidenced by my six months of split ends), and spend the afternoons out "shopping and getting lattes with the girls". I do not live in an episode of Desperate Housewives nor, quite frankly, do I want to.

And finally, 5) Never, ever, EVER ask a stay at home mom (especially one who is hugely pregnant and exhausted), "Well, what do you plan to do when you go back to having a real job?".


The woman who tipped you 2%

P.S. My hair looks great, by the way. Kudos!


grandmem said...

tell me the name of the salon! i'll see that he gets it anonymously. you are SO cool!

Lea said...

Well said!


An Imperfect New Momma said...

Oh no he didnt! Very well put