February 22, 2011

Resolutions... where you at?

I think by now most, if not all, people have started to falter in their New Years’s resolutions. Going to the gym five times a week has tapered off to two or three times. Eating healthy has been pushed aside more than once for “special” occasions—like because it’s Tuesday. Spending less, saving more, finishing those scrapbooks, doing more yoga... it’s all starting to seem a lot harder than it did on Janauary 1st.

Now, I’m not making fun! I have failed miserably at all sorts of New Year’s goals! In fact, this year I even resolved not to MAKE any resolutions. HA! There’s just something so promising about the turning of the calendar, its seductive call for self-improvement is hard to resist. Especially after all the changes of 2010 (the majority of which can be summed up with “NEW BABY! AAAAAHHH!”), the desire to take things a little slower and downshift on all the minutiae that’s taking away from my life feels a little hard to deny.

But even though I couldn’t resolve to unresolve myself, I haven’t given up entirely. That is, I haven’t given up on NOT giving up. It’s mid-February and I still have my goals in view. The view, I’m happy to say, is long.
Instead of a vast to-do list this year, I’ve got a short to-be list. Roughly 12 challenges (a little more, a little less, who knows?) I want to try throughout the year. I’m not talking getting in my cardio four times a week (though wouldn’t that be great?). These experiments are aimed more at trying to improve a thought, a perception, an attitude.

So for January, I spent some time just looking around. What do I do all day? What makes me feel good? What makes me feel like crap? Where am I guilty, where am I proud? At the end of the day, did I feel like I missed out? Did I laugh enough, cry enough, hug enough, work enough? Did I listen?

Observing yourself in action can be a strange and humbling experience. I’d suggest trying it, but only if you’re ready to be REALLY honest. Based on all those questions, and many more, I’m challenging myself to do (or not do, as the case may be) a little bit better. Every few weeks, look for a little update, if you’re interested. If not, well... you’re probably not reading this at all anyway. So it all works out.