August 08, 2011

Shut up! And also... yum!

It hurts, I'm not going to lie. I am out of shape and it HURTS. Lunges, squats! Get down low! Pulse it ladies, only 16 more! ONLY?! This from the gorgeous blonde in the front who wears those lightweight tanks with the shelf bras and actually gets support from them.

It sucks but I'm there. I get up, I rally the troops, I run back and forth from the car three times before we make it out the driveway. I forget my deodorant (sorry). I've been getting off my (not so firm) ass and making it to class. I am there for a purpose. I would NOT be there if there wasn't a goal firmly (Ha! I'm so punny!) within my view.

Apparently, though, the three ladies in the back of the room have a very different goal. They get up early, put on the unflattering stretchy clothes (and make-up, what's up with that?), take the time to set up the step and get all the weights and bars and mats and whatnot.

Then they chat. FOR THE ENTIRE HOUR. Occasionally they flail their weights around in the general movement of the exercise but more often than not they're still doing vague knee bends after the rest of us have moved on to floor exercises.

I try and ignore it. Everyone tries to ignore it, including the instructor. I catch her glancing at them in the mirror more and more and then the little comments start. "You really need to THINK about the muscle contraction here. You need to FOCUS on your form. Don't CHEAT yourself." As in, shut up and get 'er done, dammit!

So to these ladies, I'd like to offer some friendly advice. If you have so much to say, please go to Starbucks, it's right around the corner, down a few lights on the left. Get a cup of coffee. Settle into one of the comfy couches and have a good natter (I'd lay off the scones though, because I haven't seen you break a sweat yet). Also, get the hell out of my class before I start throwing weights at your head. It'll be the light ones, since I'm still working up to the heavier ones and that's a lot of shoulder work. But it'll still hurt. Much love and kisses, Megan

On the bright side:

I have discovered heaven, neatly disguised as a healthy protein and calcium rich snack, Oikos Greek Yogurt with caramel. They write the caramel part really small on the label, as if to say, it's nothing, it's no big deal, you are still being delightfully diet-y (if that's your thing). But it's SO GOOD. It tastes like pudding and it's creamy and cool and SO GOOD. In my house, it is simply referred to as Mommy's Special Yogurt. They also have a chocolate one, but it's not as tasty.

3 comments:

Jennifer said...

Dude, right?! Sooooo annoying. I am a back row babe but only because I don't want anyone staring at my not-so-firm-ass; not to chat. You're so funny and I love how you put things.
~
I will have to try that greek yogurt. My dear friend made cheese out greek yogurt the other day. Tosca Reno comes up with some of the craziest s*!t and I am only 3/4-sold.

Jenny said...

We shall represent, Megan, with our heavy grunting, sweaty armpits and shaking arms (from the lifting of course)! I will be there Wed. through hell or high water!

Lea said...

Seriously, I can't imagine going to a workout class to chat! If I am there, I am THERE, know what I'm saying? I'd be frustrated too! And I am definitely gonna check out that yogurt!