Hot damn. This whole thing ain't so easy, who knew? I'm sittin' not so pretty at about 15,000 words and staring down the next 35,000 with major trepidation. I should be about halfway by now. Clearly, I am not.
Part of the problem is that, as yet, I am not even sure what the story is. To be completely honest, I think I am writing two stories, both alike in indignity. But mostly it's fading into just one so give it another 10,000 words or so and I may have a plot. Maybe.
The other part of the problem is just the triple threat of time, exhaustion and (triple within a triple) kids. I am TIRED. Anna's having some sort of emotional issues right now that we're trying very hard to be patient with but when you have to put your kid to bed every night while they have a sobbing meltdown, it can wear on the most sympathetic of nerves. Jack has been sick, not eating and generally barfing and miserable (though he's better now. Anemia, who knew?). Silvia just finished her second round on antibiotics for the same ear infection we can't seem to beat. She told me today that, "my ear itches where I can't reach, Mommy!!".
Chores, laundry, food, etc... whatever. Kurt has grown accustomed to the chaos and we all just make a point of wearing shoes in the house now to keep the mess on the floors from sticking to our feet. Instead of putting dishes away, we just take the clean stuff out as needed from the machine and then fill it back up when we run out of spoons. Who needs cabinets, anyway?
Excuses aside though, I will admit to a certain level of goal avoidance. I am not ENJOYING the ride at the moment. I haven't gotten to that adrenaline-packed moment where everything comes together in a bright shining beacon of understanding and I push through the crap to say the things I need to say that I didn't know I knew how to say. Apparently this revelation is supposed to hit towards the end of week three. Fingers crossed!
For now, I'm just going to buckle down and hit the keys. Very, very hard. Maybe I'll luck out and break the keyboard.